


buried hopes sprout anew

by lovely_ericas



Series: never be the same again verse [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Black Hermione Granger, Coming Out, Desi Potter Family, Gen, Genderfluid Teddy Lupin, Jewish Hermione Granger, Jewish Rose and Hugo Granger-Weasley, Mixed race Rose and Hugo Granger-Weasley, Not Epilogue Compliant, POC Potters, Professor Gemma Farley - Freeform, Professor Neville Longbottom, Supportive parents and siblings, Telugu Potters, Trans Female Character, Trans!Al, thus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 20:06:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10647129
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovely_ericas/pseuds/lovely_ericas
Summary: Al doesn't suit her at all. She wants a name like Lily's so everyone will know exactly who she is, what she is, see that she belongs too.





	buried hopes sprout anew

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Family](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876859) by [IrreverentFangirl](https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrreverentFangirl/pseuds/IrreverentFangirl). 



> The title comes from the Anne of Green Gables quote, "My life is a perfect graveyard of buried hopes."

_prologue_

The truth is, and Al’s never said this out loud because she knows it sounds crazy, when they told her and James that Mum was going to have a girl, for a brief moment she thought her parents understood. She thought they meant her.

But Lily arrives and Al still isn’t a girl in any way that anyone but she can see.

She buries her hopes deep inside her.

_part i._

When Al’s six, Teddy comes home from a fourth year at Hogwarts and explains gender-fluid. Teddy explains to Al (and Mum and Dad and James and Lily) that genderfluid means a person without a fixed gender, someone who’s gender expression might vary over time. Teddy asks to be referred to as they, not he (or she).

It’s not quite what Al feels, she doesn’t feel like a he but they doesn’t feel right either. It’s something though, someone who feels different. Not the way they’re supposed to. But everyone is understanding even if they don’t quite understand.

It’s a start.

Those buried hopes begin to come alive again.

_part ii._

One day when Al’s about seven, Lily comes home with a new friend. The day before she explains very carefully to everyone that Patrick has been to their house before but wasn’t called Patrick then. “Don’t call him Patricia!” Lily says, very seriously. “His name is Patrick. Kuh like a cat! Not shh like be quiet.”

(Lily’s not allowed to say shut up ever since the incident involving the dog, firecrackers, and Grandad.)

Lily’s friend Patrick is rather familiar. Al’s sure she’s seen him by before.

He’s small and fragile, even for five. He lets Lily do all the talking for him.

James isn’t interested in a bunch of five year olds but Al finds herself watching the pair as they play.

Lily wears her butterfly wings and Patrick borrows James’ broomstick and they go running around outside on an adventure.

Patrick’s mum tells Mum that Patrick’s transgender.

Al doesn’t know that word.

Teddy babysits for them the next night while Mum and Nanna go on a date.

“What’s transgender mean, Teddy?” Al asks, once James and Lily are sufficiently distracted.

Teddy seems surprised. “Where did you hear that word, Al?” They ask.

“Lily’s friend Patrick’s mum.” Al explains.

Lily turns, hearing her name. “What are you talking about?” She asks.

Teddy picks her up and hoists her onto their lap. “We’re talking about your friend Patrick, Miss Lily-billy."

Lily giggles. She only likes when Teddy calls her that.

“Patrick’s my second bestest friend.” Lily tells them. “I love Patrick almost as much as Jessie and I love Jessie almost as much as Hugo.”

“When did Patrick start going by Patrick, Lily?” Teddy asks gently. “Do you remember?”

“O’ course I re’mber!” Lily says, playing with Teddy’s hair which is long today and purple. “It was last Monday, no Tuesday. Ms. Hollis said that everybody thought Patrick was a girl and they didn’t know any better before but Patrick told them he’s a boy and Patrick’s a boy ‘cause he said so. He wants to be called Patrick now, so we’re all supposed to re’mber to call him Patrick.”

“There you go, Al.” Teddy says. “Lily’s right. Of course, the proper definition is a bit more complicated but Lily has the gist of it and you can worry about the complicated words when you’re a bit older.”

Teddy puts Lily down and she runs over to pester James.

“Is it true what Lily said?” Al asks, shocked but hopeful. “Patrick’s a boy ‘cause he said so?”

“Yes.” Teddy says slowly, carefully. “He might realize that a different identity suits him better later on. But Patrick’s a boy because Patrick says so.”

“C-can I be a girl if I say so, Teddy?” Al whispers, her voice scared but hopeful.

“Yes.” Teddy says firmly. “Yes, Al.” They hug her tightly.

The buried hopes poke out roots.

_part iii._

“Mum, Dad.” Al says, finding them washing the dishes together in the kitchen. “I have something important to tell you.”

Her parents exchange looks. “Do you want James and Lily to be here?” Mum asks.

Al furrows her brow. “No, we can tell them later. I have to say this now.”

“What is it, Al?” Dad asks gently.

“I’m a girl. Not a boy. Like Teddy, like Patrick.” Al explains.

Dad hugs her close. “I’m proud of you.” He tells Al.

Mum hugs them both.

Al’s hopes start to sprout.

_part iv._

Al hates her name. It isn’t just that Albus Severus is a boy’s name, Al doesn't suit her at all. She wants a name like Lily's so everyone will know exactly who she is, what she is, see that she belongs too.

James is sympathetic. Lily is delighted. She pours over books of names with Al.

“What about Jane?” Lily asks, excited. “Jane’s nice!”

“No.” Al says. “Rosie and Hugo’s nana is called Jane.”

“Okay.” Lily says. She rolls onto her stomach and pokes her tongue out of her mouth as she concentrates extra hard.

“I want a name like yours and James’.” Al explains. “Grandad James and Grandma Lily are very important to Nanna. So was Sirius and so is Aunt Luna.”

Lily rolls around on the floor for a while. “What about Hagrid?” She asks Al. “Hagrid’s very important to Daddy.”

Al thinks about it. Hagrid is important to Nanna and he’s important to Al too. “But Lily, what kind of name could I get from Hagrid?”

Lily’s ready for this question. “Ingrid! My friend Minna has a cousin called Ingrid and it sounds like Hagrid. Sort of.”

Ingrid’s not terrible honestly. It doesn’t suit her, Al doesn’t think, but it could be a contender.

“Maybe.” Al says, going back to her book.

~~~

“What’s Hagrid’s family name?” Lily asks at dinner, probably so Mum won’t watch her as carefully and she can feed her peas to the dog.

“Hagrid is Hagrid’s family name.” Dad explains.

“Hagrid’s name is Hagrid Hagrid?” James asks, interested, slurping his spaghetti.

“James, come on.” Mum says, exasperated. “What have I told you about eating at the table?”

“No slurping, James.” James says in his best imitation of Mum and reaches for his fork.

“Hagrid’s first name is Rubeus.” Dad says.

Lily looks like Christmas has come early. “Ruby!” She shrieks. “Lily and Ruby!”

“Don’t shout at the table, Lily love.” Dad is saying but Al isn’t listening. Lily might be feeding the dog mushed peas from her napkin under the table (she is) but she’s right.

 _Ruby_.

It’s perfect.

Al clears her throat. “I’d like to be called Ruby from now on, please.” She says loudly and clearly.

“Of course, Ruby.” Mum says. “We’d be happy to.”

Ruby’s heart soars and her hopes start to bud.

_part v._

James and Ruby are lying on the roof. It’s a warm summer night and the stars are bright and beautiful.

James is twelve and Ruby’s nearly eleven. Hogwarts is looming on the not too distant horizon.

Lily’s downstairs with Mum arguing over something while Nanna tries to arbitrate somewhat unsuccessfully.

Ruby’s been trying on middle names since she asked to be called Ruby. Molly, Elizabeth, Andromeda, Natalie, Ginevra, Louisa, Minerva, Sophia, Hermione, Margaret, she’s tried them all on for size but nothing’s stuck.

“Are you scared about starting Hogwarts, Ruby?” James asks, looking straight up into the sky.

“No.” Ruby says, because she really isn’t. “Only…”

“Only, what?” James asks, rolling onto his stomach.

“Only it’d be nice to have my name all figured out before I go.” Ruby mumbles.

“You want a name like mine and Lily’s, right?” James asks. “Something meaningful.”

Ruby is surprised. She hadn’t thought James listened to her so carefully.

“Yes.” She says, tugging her hair out from where it’s caught under her shoulder.

“Luna’s the moon in Latin and Sirius is a star.” James points out. “What’s your favorite constellation then?"

Ruby knows right away. “The Pleiades.” Something about their sisterhood has always struck her, made her think of Mum and the Harpies, Artemis and her Hunters.

But which of the Pleiades is her favorite? That’s sure to be James’ next question and Ruby isn’t certain.

There’s Maia, the second oldest sister who reminds Ruby a little of herself and Rose. Free-spirited.

Electra the oldest always having to look after little Merope. Very domestic but Ruby imagines her rather like Aunt Hermione.

Dancer Taygete probably like Dom, earnest, inquisitive Sterope like Roxanne, hyperactive noisy Calaeno like Mum as a little girl.

And Ruby’s always had a soft spot for poor vanishing baby Merope, even though she’s nothing like Lily.

Really, it’s no contest though. Middle sister Alcyone, quiet and thoughtful, is the brightest star of the Pleiades and has guided Ruby along her way on many an adventure and is sure to do so again.

So, Alcyone it is. 

“So?”                                                                                        

James looks pleased with himself and Ruby’s certain Alcyone’s beaming down on her too.

_epilogue._

Mum kisses Ruby good-bye. “See you at Christmas.”

“Bye, Ruby,” Dad says as she hugs him. “Don’t forget Hagrid’s invited you to tea next Friday. Don’t mess with Peeves. Don’t duel anyone till you’ve learned how. And don’t let James wind you up.”

~~~

Ruby follows Rose onto the train. She’s not listening very hard to Rose’s chatter because she’s heard it all before.

“–be happy most anywhere, really.” Rose finishes, setting her owl’s cage on a seat in the compartment.

“Uh huh.” Ruby agrees, climbing up to stash her trunk.

Dad had said that if she were to be Sorted there, Slytherin House would gain an excellent student.

Ruby’s pretty sure Slytherin is where she’s headed. If she doesn’t want Gryffindor, and she doesn’t, there’s probably no helping it. Rose’ll make Ravenclaw, maybe Gryffindor.

Dom joins them quickly, breathless and face pink like she’s already planning some mischief. “Lou said Lily asked Maman yesterday if she could go to Beauxbatons.”

Ruby sighs. Yeah, going to Beauxbatons is Lily’s new obsession. She’s heard a great deal about it already.

“And,” Dom goes on. “Some of the older boys kicked Scorpius Malfoy out of his compartment.”

“What?” Rose is indignant. “That’s awful! Did you tell him he could come sit with us?”

“No.” Dom says. “But he’s out in the corridor right now, so you can.”

Rose opens the door to their compartment, looking like she can’t believe Dom, but then she often looks like that.

“Hi? Scorpius? I’m Rose. Would you like to come into our compartment? We’ve got room.” They can hear Rose’s voice from inside the compartment.

Not that much room, Ruby thinks.

Scorpius must be soft-spoken because Ruby doesn’t hear him say anything before he follows Rose in.

“Ruby Potter.” Ruby says quickly, extending her hand for Scorpius to shake. She wants to make sure everything gets sorted out properly.

“And I’m Rose, obviously.” Rose says. “And the blonde idiot in the corner is our cousin Dom, who I promise occasionally does have manners.”

“Hey!” Dom yelps.

~~~

“Potter, Ruby!” Uncle Neville – no Professor Longbottom, she has to remember to call him Professor Longbottom at Hogwarts, calls.

It’s just her luck to be going ahead of Rose and Dom and most everyone else she knows.

Ruby marches to the stool and jams the Sorting Hat onto her head.

She tries not to startle too much as a small voice begins to talk in her ear.

“Hmm, very like your father, I see. Plenty of courage too, more than is usual in one so young. You’ll fit easily into the home of the brave –”

 _Not Gryffindor, please_ , Ruby thinks. _James already thinks he has to protect me all the time_.

“But what’s this? A thirst for knowledge too. Big ambitions, my, my, you’ve got plans for the future, don’t you? Well, better be –”

Ruby crosses her fingers in her pocket.

“SLYTHERIN!” The Sorting Hat roars out to the Great Hall.

Ruby hands the Hat back to Professor Longbottom and walks over to the table decked out in green and silver. There’s a hush over the whole Hall and it seems no one quite knows how to react

James’ jaw has dropped and his mouth is wide open. If it weren’t such a serious occasion, Ruby would laugh at him. She’s never managed to put that look on his face before.

Victoire looks as though she’s in shock. Fred and Louis are staring. Lucy has stopped mid-sentence.

Standing with the other unsorted students, Dom looks like she’s trying to figure out a puzzle. Even Rose looks at least mildly surprised.

It’s a tall girl with blue hair at the Slytherin table who is the first to start clapping. Ruby’s family and the rest of the table follow suit. 

The Sorting continues.

Rose makes Ravenclaw just as Ruby thought she would, as does Scorpius Malfoy interestingly. Dom joins James, Fred, and Louis at the Gryffindor table.

As the feast starts, a second year takes it upon herself to make Ruby feel welcome. She chatters on about classes (Charms is probably my _favorite_! Which do you think you’ll like best? I really wanted to like History of Magic because I loved history back at my primary school but Professor Binns is so _boring_!), their Head of House Professor Farley (sort of strict but very fair, you know?), the Sorting (did your family expect you to make another house? do you have siblings? I’m Muggle-born and I’m the oldest, so my parents don’t know any more about magic than me but the _same_ thing happened to Cecily Macmillan! See her over there in the pink?), the cozyness of the Slytherin dungeon (no, _really_! I _swear_ ), and Ruby’s hair (it’s so _pretty_! I wish _mine_ was that color! It’s just a kind of mousy color, see?)

“When’s your birthday? My birthday is in July. Did you know that Ruby’s the birthstone for July?” The chatterbox asks. “I’m Daisy by the way.”

July.

Dad’s birthday.

Ruby’s hopes bloom.

 _Ruby_.

Meant to be. 

It’s perfect.

**Author's Note:**

> I am not trans myself, so please let me know if anything is incorrect and I'll do my best to fix it.
> 
> Ruby calls Harry Dad or ‘Nanna’ which is transliterated Telugu for for father. I’ve decided to rely on the UC Davis [website](http://web.cs.ucdavis.edu/~vemuri/classes/freshman/family.htm) for the spelling.  
> I am trying to learn Telugu but at the moment know next to nothing. Please let me know if anything is incorrect.
> 
> With regards to the Pleiades, Maia is generally considered the eldest sister. Ruby's conception of the sisters comes from being read Mary Poppins (probably by Hermione) and as well as her own imagination.


End file.
